i don't understand..? we went from liking each other so much, so i thought. i mean without a doubt im feelin you so much its ridiculous...you got something no one anyone else i've ever dealt with has. i think its more than just your charm..you're so nice to me...although we play threaten each other. i'm used to just being with assholes. well i thought you were nice but this is like thee third day in a row tht we haven't really talked and its killing me because i thought you liked me to yet you seem so distant...i told you i hate feeling like this. like im in need of your attention because im your girl when im not even your girl, make sense? ugh!! i just want want to go to sleep and wake up with no feelings for you. i thought you were amazing i loved talking to you and i don't even like being on thee phone...i feel like you somehow got through tht blackhole and stomped on my already broken heart..

how i feel...

my heart hurts

its aching

it just wants to be loved

not on no desperate shit

it wants real love

from not just a lover but a friend

it aches not because its broken

but because it feels as if it hasn't ever really been loved

like so far in life its just been played with

i see all these ppl in happy relationships

&we're jealous

my heart beats hard in my chest like

"come on, amber why cant you find me love like tht?"

i dnt know wht to do

&i really dont want to go looking

i want it to come to me

thts wht real love does right?

right?

:(

--`my heart

There is something I got to tell you

….I love you

I love you more than anything and everything combined

Which equals nothing

I love you so much more than nothing

Because to me you mean everything

&I’d give anything to be with you

I want to give you something

　it may mean nothing to you now

but if anything I'd always want YOU to have this

its something I can't live w/o

&I'd like for you to feel thee samthing as I

but this is something you have touched & seen before

something that is soo very fragile

out of anyone in thee world

I'm giving it to you

　

A hearts life

Its beats happily as if smiling
It slows in sleep; calmly
The pace is even an steady
The heart will meet another
Pace fastening; falling in love
But this hearts mind didn’t know…
It didn’t know it would be hurt
It’ll be hurt by simple yet harsh words
By cruel and careless actions
The heart will shatter as if glass; broken
It will deteriorate as if dying
The hearts mind will become unstable
Emotionally, yes it is unstable
Mind, brain, and heart consult each other
Questioning their reason of life
Wondering was there a point to living;
Living in this hell without the other heart
Their conclusion was made…
Good or bad; it was
No, there was absolutely good reason
The heart was content before it had met its match
But now without it there was no reason for living
The hearts pace fastens
As the mind and brain prepare
They prepare for the hearts end
The heart has been ready for this moment…
Its end is ending; no turning back
-phone rings-
The mind tells the brain to tell the breather to answer it
As told, the breather of this heart leaves the dark room
Locked from the inside to answer the ringing phone
It’s the voice of the other heart
This heart beating fast;
as if it was being played like a drum
The other hearts breathers voice is calm; comforting
This heart smiles; it cries but only in spite of happiness
Maybe because of sheer stupidity
The heart and mind are confused
They are all mixed up; baffled
Happy with love; angry with actions; sad with death
Comforted by the other hearts breathers voice
And still hurt by love
But overall confused
On what to say, how to act, what to do next
Should it hang up and contin…
The mind is interrupted midthought
By the other hearts voice
“Baby, you still there?”
The heart screams to the mind
‘ANSWER HER’
Doing as told, the heart is angered
By the minds stupidity and slow response
“yes, my love I’m still here”
In saying this smiles
Smiling because the heart has given up
Not on love, never
But on relying on the mind
The heart no longer cares if its wrong or right
Doesn’t care if its stupid or dumb
Or what anyone has to say or thinks about how it feels
Its in love with no doubt
That other heart has a mind, a brain
It has a body and soul….a name
Does this heart belong to you?
Do you know its name?
Do you love this breathers once broken heart?
With every word you say it mends
Just alil more; keep it up
Soon you’ll make it whole again
Don’t let the love seep out;
Out of the mending cracks in either heart
This hearts breather speaks up
“I want this to last, don‘t you?
My heart is agreeing isn’t yours?
-its silent-
Besides the soft sound
of a single audible hearts slowing beating
Calmly the other breather replies
“Yes, my heart and I agree”
This heart leaps within its breathers chest
Overcome with excitement
Maybe a little over-excited but just alil
As time goes on thee heart heals
The mind becomes wiser; making better decisions
The heart grows; becoming bigger
Deeply loving more….
Watching the breather in which the heart lives
Not sleeping; lost in love
These hearts together will happily tryingly
Grow old together loving no other
It slows in slow; now listening
Listening to its others hearts beat; calmly
The pace is even and steady
This is a hearts life.

--`breathers

Breathers

We are not people
We are just breathers
Breathers of air
The air of our lungs to pump our hearts
Followers of our minds
We are ventriloquists dummies
The ventriloquist being
Either our mind or our heart
We breathe the air to feed our heart
To run the mind
Which runs our brain
Which controls our body
The breather: us, you, me
Just breathers of air
Here to live in a game called life
Until we meet another breather
Of our choice, no not us, the hearts choice
Breathers hearts and minds
Are all searching for something certain
But will only truly find it once
In one certain breather
Following the minds guidance though
Sometimes the other breather is never found
Therefore listen to your heart
Your beautiful soul
Your heart will lead you to love
We are just breathers
Breathers of air
Inhibitors of this world
Looking for love
Playing this game called life
Simple yet complex
Breathers